sigh. This is me ranting.

omg she is SO FUCKIN SELF RIGHTEOUS I want to tear my hair out. And I love my hair, so that's saying something.


OK scenario time.

Lets say that you are the only son in the family. And your mother passed away last night. Shit, as sad as it is, money still matters. You need maybe 15k++ to have a proper buddist ceremonial. Being an only son in an Asian family who are devout Buddhist, by hook or by crook, you must come up with that money. So you resort to borrowing 3k from your employer. Is it right for people to judge you just because you borrow money from your employers to pay for your mother's burial fees?

I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO. I dare you to do better. If it were you will you keep your mouth shut? Maybe bury your mother in a box? Don't judge someone for trying their best to make right of a bad situation.

When my mom tearfully tell me and my sisters that my grandma died at, like, 6-7am. The first thing I did was, like, OMG are you serious? OUR Popo? Then immediately jump out of bed and started changing out of my PJ's.

My mom asked THAT ONE to wake up and drop her at my grandma's house. And THAT ONE was like, "HA? I DON'T WANNA GO. I'M STILL HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT AH TAI'S FUNERAL (Great-grandmother)." Loudly, I might add.

This is where I sigh.

Here's the thing, my great grandmother dies 6 YEARS ago. That is 2004. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? seriously, what kind of fucked up excuse is that? And for you to tell my grieving mother that? While lying in bed still covered in pillows and blankets? WHAT THE FUCK. It's no secret that you like to sleep in and feel suicidal everytime you have to get up early. Heck, even i've heard that so bloody often and i don't even talk to you.

I have yet to meet someone so self righteous. And so damn crass. Notice how people don't answer you when you say something you assume is witty?

Here's a clue. Whatever you said is crude and in bad taste. So shut up. If you don't have anything nice to sad just fucking shut up. leave your self righteousness to yourself. Or share it with your boyfriend. I don't care.

It's bad enough that she hardly goes to visit Popo every weekend, back when she wasn't working weekends. My mom goes every single week so the no transport excuse is out. And to say that she hates my aunt is also out because she's never home on weekends. She knows that.

I would like to go with my mother. I think conversation between my mom, my yiyi (mom's sister), my Popo and ,sometimes, some of my yi poh (grand aunts) is damn entertaining. They call my grandma "Paris Hilton", for godsakes. Because she had a minor stroke and always says silly things unconciously. Hah, bet you didn't know that. The last weekend holiday I had was on Gawai. And yes, I did went with my mom to visit my grandparents. My off days are on Thursdays. And I can't drive. So its perfectly acceptable for me to use the no transport excuse. I'm not saying that I'd go by myself if I could drive. But I'd go if my mom goes.

I'm not saying I'm a good granddaughter, nor am i saying that I'm the only one that is right, bragging to the whole world that I'm damn filial and everyone else belongs in hell. But theres a limit to everything. Dammit, I won't post this on my damn blog if all of the above is true.

This is not me grieving. I don't grieve online. I think its pointless. Because my feelings for my grandmother are my own. And its not like she goes online, wherever she is, checking who said what about her. I pray for my grandmother. What I want to say to her, I say it in my mind through prayers, not bandwidth.

But all the same, R.I.P Popo.

sigh. i guess this has to happen sometime.

LALALALALAomg a blogpost someone STOP THE PRESS!!!!! ok fine. go and keep watching yr stupid football. Italy is gonna win u know.

WAIT WHAT HE'S OUT? (notice i referred to italy as a person. HAHA)

erm. what ever soccer is for wusses anyways. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? HAHAHA FOOTBALL FOODBALL FOODBOWL SAME OLD SAME OLD.

IS PEK CHEK NOW. SHADDAP IM STRESSED OK. the next time som one wants to jump off a buildng due to stress. dont. just flunk it.

i hate bringing my psp to work (or anywhere) im using i only for the ebook. not so that some stupid dumbshit wants to borrow it. cibai. u so clever stop wasting yr money on smokes and alchohol and buy one, dammit. i only put the othe games in there so i can play it when im bored.u know what. i'm just gonna delete all the games and leave the ebook in there. the boring boring ebooks. hmph!

and what is the one question tha makes you look stupid. VERY VERY STUPID?

"why do you read books with so much words? and no pictures?? so boring."

ok, i think that just explains itself. what the hell is wrong with you? sigh. no wonder i cant stand it here. the intelligence level is so low its practically non existent. if i weren't bound to this fuckn place by my college, i'd be off to a land far far away(frm here).

this is meant to be a random post and now its just a ranting post. sigh. ta~

AAAAAAAND SHES GONE!!!