me and a bunch of friends wanted go away from home for a few days during the holidays. since some people in the group are a bit younger, their parents don't allow them to stay more then 1 night away from home without adult supervision(wtf I'm adult OK. well, close anyways.). so in training for my future profession, i gladly took up the task of organising the whole damn trip. where to go, what to eat, what to bring, total cost and plan all the other shit other people don't want to plan themselves.
so i choose the place and stuff right?
camp permai, rain forest resort. sounds awesome.
what it might look like in my head. wow. or maybe even
so why the hell not? i called and ask bout the price for a room.
actual phone conversation. as best as i could remember.
female receptionist : ''hellopermairesorthowcanihelpu?'' (like how the words jumble up when its routinely being said, i didn't understand what was said so i just assume that's what she said.)
Alicia : "hi, camp permai, right?" (to make sure)
female receptionist : "yes"
Alicia : "how much is a cabin per night?"
female receptionist : "rm178 per night for 6 people including breakfast"
Alicia : "whoa! 178?? that's it?" (yes i actually said that)
so to cut a long story short, i booked a room after discussing it with the group of friends. i mean seriously, why the hell not? a cabin in a resort for that price? MERRY CHRISTMAS TO U!
but i was having doubts. breakfast? what kind of breakfast? so i called and ask for more information
male receptionist : "hellopermairesorthowcanihelpu?"
Alicia *face palms*: "Camp permai, right?"
Male receptionist : "ya"
Alicia : "how is the breakfast served?"
Male receptionist *pause*: "ha? apa?"
Alicia *sighs* : "macam mana breakfast?" Literally means how is the breakfast
Male receptionist : "emm, macam mana cakap ha...? emm..." emm... how to explain...emm...
Alicia : "macam buffet kah?" like a buffet is it?
Male receptionist : "YA YA!! buffet lah."
Alicia : "OK, Thank you."
hangs up. annoyed but happy. BECAUSE ITS A CHEAP BUFFET!!yay!!
so then here are the things that went wrong. because during this trip, anything that could go wrong, most probably did go wrong. i shall write in point form since i don't remember what order did it happen in. (note: I'm lazy). i don't want to be repeating other people so I'll just give you the gist of it. read more here and here
-- when we arrive. we had to carry our own luggage downhill to their lobby (pffft. pathetic excuse for a lobby if you ask me.) then up again to while the hotel staff looks on, without offering to help.wtf. after several trips up and down the mini hill, we finally finished unloading all of our supplies. we were more than ready to check in. omfg the heat was ridiculous, by the way.
--we had to pay more than was expected. about twice as much as that damn receptionist said. wtf. we had to pay entrance fees. omfg. the 178 price tag was for the cabin alone. without the tenants. what the hell.
rates
5 buck per person staying at the cabin.PER PERSON
additional 5 bucks for any form of food.eg. meats, rice, snacks, chewable food. PER PERSON
additional 5 bucks for soft drinks or any other kind of drinking water that is not plain water.PER PERSON
additional 10 bucks for alcoholic drinks. PER PERSON
extra 50 bucks for the barbecue pit.
etc charges.
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we were like
for reals? you want us to actually pay money for bringing food in? whoa! i totally did not read that your flora and fauna/rocks are edible. its not like we request for personal chef to come by and help us cook right? think about it. pay to bring your own food and drinks. W-T-F. no wait, What The Fuck??! but WE HAD TO PAY TO GO INTO THE MOFREAKIN CABIN. why didn't they tell us in the first place??
"the cabin is rm178 per night for 6 people with breakfast. not including entrance fee"
i would have understand. but i mean, whats the point of booking the cabin without the tenants? completely pointless that's what. there we were trying to make sense of all the sudden charges and the ridiculous total amount that they want us to pay for a night in the jungle, when suddenly comes this big Indian man with a smug smile. he was talking to us like we were 12 year old children who couldn't understand the adults talking and who are having they're first trip away from home. Oh My God. he was soooo infuriating. that man seriously piss me off with his know-it-all attitude and his stupid distracting mustache. but then i paste a big
-- there's a disgusting wagon that is pulled by a tractor covered dirt and grime that helps transports the heavier luggage. but its really filthy. i wont even put Samson in that stupid wagon.
this is Samson if you don't remember. precious isn't he?a shack. yup, a damn shack with locks, windows, running waters and beds but a shack nonetheless.
something like this. we didnt bother to take a pic of the shack but its pretty similar to this. OK la, its not so abandoned as this one. lets see..... something like this
much better. you think I'm exaggerating? I'm not OK. sheesh. i hate that place, from the bottom of my very pissed off heart. the place was damp from the recent rain and it smells mouldy. ewww... then we settled in (as if we had a choice)and waited for the barbecue pit to arrive. when it did, IT WAS A OIL BARREL CUT IN HALF. what de hell. IT WAS FILTHY. filled with ashes and covered in dirt. I'm by no means a obsessive-compulsive maniac who thinks everything is covered in germs, but seriously holy shit mcgregor was that so called "barbecue pit" was really dirty. it kinda looks like this
only without the hood and it was really really dirty. but it came with free charcoal and some kind of metal net to put over the grill, which was crusted with god knows what(the grill) . look Jos!!! yr Xmas present!!
if it looked like this i bet Jos would gladly pay whatever it took to bring it home. wtf random.
there was other issue that happen that night. most pressing matter,i might say.
--THERE WAS LICE OF SOME SORT ON THE BED.
ladies and gentlemen. i may not be some sort of health inspector BUT LICE ON THE BED IS A BIG NO NO FOR "RESORTS" OF ANY KIND. what the momofufuckckinin hell??? how does those little suckers get inside??
*when we checked out we told the receptionist that there was lice on the bed. it goes like this.
Amanda : "excuse me, there was lice on the bed."
Male receptionist : "huh...?"
Amanda : "ada kutu dalam cabin!"there is lice in the cabin
i was like oooohh that's the idiot on the phone. wtf looks the part too.
male receptionist : " yakah? bukan kutu, tak lah cuma hari hujan dia keluar bah.." really? that's not lice. its just out because of the rainy weather.
what the hell. i called and book a cabin. not a freakin 300++buck insect infested shack in the middle of the forest la.
--the breakfast was not a freakin buffet. the male receptionist was more stupid than i thought. all you can order is from a list and the food sucks. the price for the cabin and the breakfast for 6 was TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT. what the hell. i ordered an omelet and it was just a plate of eggs with chunks in it. totally tasteless. i want my omelet like this before i am satisfied
i paid so much so why not, right.NO THIS IS NOT A PICTURE OF MY OMELET. i wish!!but wait!! there's more!!!HERE COMES THE MOST ANNOYING ASSHOL3-ISH SHIT THAT HAPPEN.
-- i was requested so go back to the cabin since i was the one whose name is used when booking. apparently there seems to be some sort of issue back at the shack. so i went just so make things easier. this trip already sucks so much why act like a spoiled brat ehh? i went alone. (note:i had to hike all the freakin way up again.) and i saw that stupid man a.k.a the Indian manager. he took a round in the cabin and decided that we had to pay extra $50 for the mess. WHAT THE HELL. don't tell me all the hidden charges does not include maid service? HOLY SHIT MCGREGOR. i made worse mess in better resorts and they still clean it up no question asked. here is this shit hole in the middle of nowhere asking us to pay cos we moved the furniture around and left snack wrappers on the ground. holy shit. IS THAT HOW YOU KEEP THIS HELL HOLE OPEN? BY CHARGING FOR EVERYTHING INCLUDING THE CLEAN UP?? he actually said that we were worse than pigs. EVER HEARD OF DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER I CAN SUE YOU LA STUPID MAN!
actual words from his mouth under his mustache. this he said before i ask Jos and gang to come back me up
"either you pay the extra $50 or you clean it up yourself."
IF I WANTED TO CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF I WOULD JUST STAY AT HOME STUPID ASSHOLE. if that stupid man happen to read this post, I DARE HIM TO DENY THAT HE SAID THAT. i asked what if we neither pay nor clean up? HE SAID HE'LL REPORT TO THE POLICE. oooohhhhhh, i really wanna be there when that phone call happens.
''hello. emergency helpline. what is your emergency?"
"yea, i wanna report vandalism."
"OK, where is your location?"
"camp permai shit-ass resort."
"wait what? your resort room was vandalized? to what extent?"
"its a cabin and there were a bunch of teenagers messed up the room and refused to pay for it. they moved the furniture around."
*pause* "huh?"
hahahahahahahahahahfunnystupidindianmangodielahahahahaha
personally i think he was so rude to us because we're not foreigners. not really the age problem. sure maybe its because we're young and we look easy to intimidate but if a group of teenage foreigners came I'm sure he would lick their ball if they just asked.
i think i saw a picture of him somewhere. along with a personal quote. wait while i look for it
hang on...
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FOUND IT!
TAA DAA!!!OK its not really his picture. but its really close. so who cares right? i mean this picture bears an uncanny resemblance to that man. LOOKS A LOT LIKE HIM!!! omfg Alicia is an artist! seriously, ask Jos or anyone who went with me.he looks almost exactly like this! he is the beefy nosy Indian man if anyone want to check him out.
i swear if i went with a different group of people we would not have ANY fun at all. lucky i went with fun people. yay! but we had fun no thanks at all to the surroundings. wtf.
i think this post is really long already so i shall stop here. what the hell. please please think twice before going there. think about it, i would not have said the things i said if it werent true. DONT GO THERE! go damai puri. roughly same price and is ACTUALLY A RESORT.
post script. i hope i did well with more pictures. hope i can capture people like abi and jos's attention. lol
tataaaa~
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